Amy Klco’s Story
During the recent election cycle, one of the issues talked about was expanding Medicare to cover home care services. This plan would “cover home care for the first time ever for all our nation’s seniors” (afscme.org). This is in part in response to the number of seniors who need extra support to continue living in their homes. According to the Lansing State Journal, “As Michigan’s population continues to age, an updated report from Michigan Health Council (MHC) released recently found that the state will face a shortage of more than 170,000 home health and personal care aides within the next decade.”
While numbers are important, it is also important to remember that they represent individual people who are struggling daily to provide this care, many of them without any support for their efforts. And this work takes its toll.
I spoke with a man the other day, let’s call him Bob, 77, about his current situation. His wife was diagnosed with dementia a few years ago and he had done his best, since that point, to take care of her so she can continue to live with him instead of having to put her in a nursing home.
“How are you doing?” I asked him once we were alone. “It has got to be hard for you.”
“I do my best,” he told me. “But it gets frustrating. She gets so worried when I leave. And her mind focuses on the negative. She can remember that I’m leaving for a while tomorrow, but she can’t remember that I will be coming back.”
“It’s a good thing you are already retired,” I pointed out.
“Yeah, I couldn’t do this otherwise.”
He confessed that many of his own plans, including golfing, Rotary, and volunteer activities, have been put on hold for now. “She gets so upset when I’m gone.”
Bob’s sister-in-law tries to visit as often as she can, mostly to give Bob a little time off. “I try to come over once a month, for Bob’s sake,” his sister-in-law explained. Then she told me she drove two hours for that monthly visit. “It’s not too bad, as long as the roads aren’t snowy.” She did not mention the cost of gas for the four-hour round-trip drives for these visits. That is all just part of the unmentioned cost of helping Bob to support his wife.
“You want to see what true love is?” she said to me. “This is it.”
Harris’s plan to provide home care would have allowed Bob to pay someone to take care of his wife when he was away, whether to reimburse his sister-in-law for the time and cost of coming to visit Bob’s wife each month or to pay for someone else to spend time with her so that Bob can have some time to pursue his own interests and keep his own mind active. As the Alzheimer’s Society webpage writes, “There are thing you can do to reduce your own risk of developing dementia. These include keeping active, eating healthy, and exercising your mind.” In addition, it points out that “Social isolation can greatly increase a person’s risk of dementia.” Bob’s mind seems quite sharp for now, but if he is spending all day, every day in the house caring for his wife, it may be only a matter of time before it could be affected, too. And who will be there to take care of him when it does?
Amy Klco is a Nationally board Certified teacher, writer, speaker, advocate, and owner of the publishing company, Enchantment Press. She has seven published novels as well as several short stories published in anthologies. She has been in the field of education for over twenty years. She has master’s degrees in education, literacy education, and special education.
Klco's main goal in life is to "use her voice to help others find and share theirs." She is doing this by turning her attention to capturing the stories about the struggles that people in our state face, as well as how current policies are helping (or not helping) with these struggles. Klco lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan in a small maple forest. You can find out more about her and her books at enchantmentpress.com